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Wednesday, December 14, 2016

PLEASE....No I'm sorry's

I still cry at the mention of my Cody dog so I really don't want to go there
again. I spent the greater part of the summer in deep mourning and I couldn't
stop crying. My 14 year old Aussie was my constant companion and every
thing was a reminder. I couldn't even drive my car or the old truck because
she had always been right there beside me.

Some of you will understand this deep feeling of loss for a dog and other's
may not. When one lives alone, a dog can replace the lack of human
companionship and this may sound odd but I really never realized it was
happening and suddenly that silent loneliness settled in.

I locked the gates and barricaded myself in my gardens and to add to my
tears, a passer-by asked me where my dog was and then recommended I
read "Racing in the Rain." I did and that was just an extention to my
mourning period.

No more dogs, I vowed.  I never want to go through this again. But then I
saw this litter of Aussie puppies.  NO, NO, NO...... not a  PUPPY.  They
bite, they chew, they pee, they cry..... all that training....absolutely "NO."

But my whole family supported me and we went "en masse" to pick up
Lily. Cute, cute, cute. Is there anything more adorable than a puppy?
She did all the above messy puppy stuff but now that she is going into
her 9th month, I can see the glimmer of the smart dog she will be.   Of
course I've always loved herding dogs and I'm prejudiced when I say
the smartest and already I can see "agility dog."

When I first brought that little thing home, I told myself I should return
her immediately because there was no love left in me. It wasn't fair to
someone that tiny ......and damn it...... now I'm really crying again.

BUT .....Lily needs me and I need her as that bond of love is growing
stronger every day.  And...it feels so good to be needed again.

19 comments:

  1. There is always a hole when they leave indeed. But a pup can sure keep you on your toes and bring lots of fun, or break one's arm lol which is no fun.

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    1. Pat
      Yes, how true. They leave a hole big enough to drive a truck through. I've had a few cats, here and there but I've never been very long without a dog. I had really wanted an older rescue dog but around here, older dogs are hard to find. I know larger cities complain of all the unwanted dogs but here, there are hundreds of applicants for every dog. Soooo for me, it was the pup.

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  2. I am glad you got another, but it is good you waited, the grieving is necessary. Lily will not replace Cody, but she will fill a void and become irreplaceable herself.

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    1. Joeh
      Yes, Lily is a part of my heart already. She loves the car and especially the old truck. She just sits in the passenger seat, watches the people and waits for me when I do errands. Thanks for the support.

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  3. Yes, I sure can relate, even if I'm a cat person. It's the same thing. No more cats for me! Sure...

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    1. Blue Man
      Both cats and dogs enter our hearts and can give us that special reason to keep going. A dog will get me out the door and taking a brisk walk or hiking up the mountain. Especially herding dogs. They easily need 10 miles a day, When we walk the fair grounds, Lily circles back and forth and around me but always keeps an eye on where I am so if I walk 2 miles she can get in her 10. My yard is fairly large too and gives her ample space for a good run. We only use the leash when we have to do a little town walking.
      I know how much you love your cats, too.

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    2. Sounds to me like what I really need is a dog. Ten miles a day would get a blue guy back into shape. :)) Hiking up the mountain... I can see you, Belva. All I need to do is close my eyes.

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  4. What type of dog is Lily? Blue Heeler? Border Collie? Red Kelpie?

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    1. Hey River
      You know your herding dogs. And why not because you live in Australia.
      We seem to be a Border Collie or Australian Shepherd dog family. Right now my one son has an Aussie Sherherd and so is Lily. Also ... Cody was one too but my son's dog before that was a Border Collie. That dog lived to age 16, almost as old as our earlier dogs lived. .......before the dry kibbles and all the required vaccinations.

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  5. I so understand the empty house, the need to care for and realizing how much our pets fill our lives. When I lost Mighty I too thought "no more" but that was not how I was raised. As a youngster, if we lost a pet, we almost immediately got a new puppy. The most damaged heart can not resist a puppy. In my case it was Callie. When I saw her in the Humane Society where I volunteered to walk the dogs, I knew no one in their right mind would adopt that crazy acting dog. Luckily, I have never been accused of being in my "right mind". Seems all Callie needed was a place to run off all her excess energy. I am delighted we both have animals that need us and that we need. You have so done the right thing. How about a picture of Lily?

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    1. Patti
      I knew you would understand. I remember Mighty, too and all the other dogs you speak of when you worked in shelters. She still has a lot of puppy at 9 months and we are in the midst of some frightful below zero weather. She would like to stay outside all day and doesn't seem to notice that her paws could freeze. When she comes in, I'm always afraid her paws are really frozen. But I guess she knows what she's doing. My paws (hands) feel frozen even wearing sheepskin mitts.
      Thanks for the great comment.

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  6. Congrats on the new family member. My 2nd oldest son's dog's name was Lily. They loved each other so. She used to cry for him when he took a shower before school and whine when he left to go to a friend's house. Funny little terrier, runt we picked up at the shelter. One of the best moves I ever made. That was many years ago now. :) I'm thinking of getting a pup for my son. I wish it could be this year... but it cannot. I'm shooting for next. #lifegoals Merry Christmas, Belva!

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    1. Rosey
      Another Lily..... After I named her, I noticed that seems to be a popular
      dog name. Kids love their dogs. Three boys lived behind me and they had a great dog for a pet that was always with them. They have since moved and I do declare.... I enjoy the silence, too. LOL
      Yes, I bet your son would really enjou a dog. They are such wonderful pals.
      Merry Christmas to you and your family.
      P.S. I am really snowed in at the moment. The snow is deeper than the wheels on the car.

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    2. I don't mind being snowed in for a day or two. Shoveling that snow out used to not be so fun though especially when it was an every day thing ;) 76 degrees here at 7:30 in the morning. I know that's not everyone's cup of tea, but I couldn't be happier!

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  7. The Circle of Life...congratulations!

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    1. Al
      Is the "circle of life" more well-rounded than the "tree of life?

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  8. This makes me smile...Lily is lucky to have you, and you are lucky to have her :)

    I hope you have a most wonderful Christmas :)

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    1. Keith
      Little pup teen-ager now, growing up and learning to trust a human. Is that really a good thing? Last night I taught her a silly little fun thing.... High-Five. She had a good time with that one

      I do hope all is well with you and that there is much joy in your house this Christmas.thank you so much for the kind comment.

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  9. It is a tribute to the ones who have gone before when we allow another puppy to come to us. We never forget the ones we have loved and who have loved us. My mother always said that babies bring their own love so there's always enough to go round and I think that's true of puppies (and kittens and probably any other companion animal) Enjoy your pup and may you have a long life together and lots of fun.

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